Wednesday, 19 August 2015

GCSE Results Day - My Death at 16

When you're asked to think of your most memorable days, the ones where no matter how many           weeks, or even years pass, you never truly forget, who out of us says "Results Day"?  

Maybe I'm just being a pessimist. Or perhaps my mind has a hard time trying to forget the crippling anxiety this dreaded day has scarred me with. But when at 16, you see your peers around you crumbling under stress; having panic attacks and breaking down into floods of tears during exams - you can't tell me this is a day we can simply 'move on' from and 'forget'.  Under normal circumstances it would be me consoling others, telling them that it's simply not worth it; that it doesn't matter; that no matter how many tears you shed, what's done is done. That's just not something I can do anymore.  

The harsh reality of the world we live in, and the education system that is dictating our lives means that the exams we take at 14, 15 and 16 DO matter. Yet, I for one have spent the past few weeks convincing myself that they don’t. That the grades slapped on (for lack of better terms) next to my name and candidate number won't determine where I end up in 5, 10, or ever 30 years from now on! That there's more to the 'real world' we're constantly warned about than a grade.  

Of course the 20th of August may not literally mark my death, but when the pressure from teachers, peers and parents pile on and on and's difficult to see it any other way. When you've spent the last 5 years of your secondary education hearing nothing but "She'll do fine", "Oh, Aida, you have NOTHING to worry about" and the worst one yet "You don't even have to revise". Yes, these may seem perfectly harmless to others, compliments even, however when you're constantly being told this you're left with the need of these people's approval.  

To not let them down. 

To be the way they see you.  

To reach their expectations of you.  

To not be a failure.  

It's sad that my most memorable memories include: the lead up of results day, bursting into controllable tears after a Maths exam - knowing I won't forgive myself for getting anything less than an A*,and the constant state of nausea throughout exam period. It's even sadder to think that a system, put in place to educate young minds has made me feel this way. Now of course, everyone has had a different experience with exams and  people's grades are very personal (what they hope to achieve, what they would be disappointed in etc...). This has meant that sharing results of mock exams or even previously completely GCSEs has always been an issue. Many would see my previously need to get an A* in Maths as ridiculous, that settling for an A is perfectly ok; what needs to be a universal understanding within students is that grades are different for everyone. I repeat. Grades are different for everyone.  

What I dread most about tomorrow is being disappointed in one of my grades, then being told by a classmate that I have no reason to be - simply because in their eyes that's a good grade. Or worse, being told I should be happy with my grade, because said person has gotten a lower mark.  Grades are a sensitive issue and we should all respect what one another gets; for example, if someone is ecstatic with a grade that would have you in a flood of tears, rolling around on the floor (maybe that’s a little drastic), we should all have the courtesy to congratulate them, rather than giving a backhanded compliment; informing them that you could never be that happy with said grade. Or vice versa, exam jealousy is never healthy.  

Our generation, our year group in particular, has had so much shit thrown our way (excuse the language). We've been through so many changes by the government, screwing up our exams, removing our coursework. Leading me to do 10 pieces of English coursework in total - as the ones completed in year 9 "didn't count" (thanks Mr Gove!).  All linear courses now, no retakes unless you're willing to retake the entire course and basically repeat a year. Changes in A levels that start with our year group and toughening up the exams overall. May I remind everyone the Edexcel Maths paper got on national news and an online petition to lower the grade boundaries, received well over 25k signatures - our year unites so beautifully when we've been wronged.   

To all the 16 year olds (or soon to be 16 year olds) in the country, in the words of High School Musical: We're all in this together. I believe in you, the stress and the worrying WILL NOT have been for nothing. Let's give a huge 'f*ck you' to the exam boards for screwing with us.  

Let's go 90s babies, we got this. 


Thursday, 29 January 2015

Review: Bourjois - Rouge Edition Velvet, 07 Nude-ist

Annoying piece of hair ruining the aesthetic of the photo.....

I think I've decided to set out my blog posts a little differently, what with it being the new year and all, it's probably about time I started making some fresh, positive changes. You may or may not have also noticed the new 'lick of paint' I have given my blog. Let me know what you think!

Bourjois Matte finish lipglosses - a god send. If you're looking for a hybrid between a matte gloss (the oxymoron and general irony isn't lost on me), and a long wearing lipstick - this is it. The product lasts a solid 6 hours with little wearing at the corners; not to mention the fact that you can drink, eat and lick your lips to your heart's content, without overly damaging the look of the product on your lips. Fab.

At around £8 this little beauty is a bargain from the heavens, if there was ever such a thing.

Let me know if you've tried these Velvet glosses and if there are any shades you're particularly inlove with, I know for me it has to be this and 02.

Till' next time, 


Thursday, 1 January 2015

Making realistic goals for the new year (2015) - A how to guide by a hypocrite


As each new year arrives, the inevitable goal making and aspiration making begins, its almost involuntary to quickly scribble down a long winded list, of all the things you have convinced your self you will do this year. Of course, you never do, because who truly wants to spend cold January mornings at a dull, grey and uninspiring gym when all you want is the comfort of your own bed as you recover from December. The January hang over I call it.  I too, have far too often been a victim of the unrealistic and honestly, daunting seemingly endless list of goals that I know full well will never be completed. It's time for change. 

So, this year as part of my own personal goals, I decided that I would make goals that are actually achievable and doable by my standards (laziness taken in consideration). Rather than creating an impressive looking essay of tasks to be completed by the time 2015 is over, I create a list that I can actually complete successfully, and have it actually affect my life in a positive manner.

Here's mine:
  • Write More - write anything and everything. Put pen to paper, and get down all those ideas as far-fetched as they may seem, you'll never know what idea you may spark.
  • Read More - stop and escape into the world of fiction, because god damn it sometimes we all need an escape from reality and what better way to do that than through the literary world?
  • Stress Less - I stress before there's even anything to stress about and you know what? It needs to stop. 
  • Keep it simple - Stop over thinking and over analyzing everything in your life. Keep it simple and (hopefully) good things will follow. Keep it simple by doing as you please, stop trying to reason everything you do and do it purely for the sake of wanting to
  • BLOG MORE - need I say more? Blogging is a way for me to vent, as well as share my own personal interests with others who are interested and it can be a good place to escape when Binge watching series on Netflix and reading books just won't do.  
To someone who may be skimming through this post, or even glancing at them, they will seem meaningless and quite frankly on the pathetic side, but it has to be understood that this year I have planned to be realistic. In the past I have too often fooled my self into believing that I could lead an uber healthy lifestyle, exercise 3 days a week and save tons of money but the sad truth is that I like my junk food, I love my bed and I love shopping. No shame. 

I sincerely hope you guys have an incredible 2015, that it brings you all the joy and happiness that previous years may not have brought and that it becomes a memorable year for you all. 


Till' next time,

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